Welcome to {dad.is.me}

When asked to briefly describe myself for the “bio” section of my twitter profile, I found myself listing out the things that I do, until I got to the very end.  Interestingly enough, the last statement in that short statement about who I was resonated more loudly for me than anything else that came before it. In fact, that resonance is the primary reason I sit where I am today.

Bio: Work in Media & Marketing for CBS Interactive’s Tech & News division, Red Sox podcaster/blogger, but most my most enjoyable time is being Dad

Out of all the accomplishments in my life thus far, “being Dad” is so far and away the paramount that the others are nearly trivial in comparison. With that in mind, let me provide you with some context to the journey I find myself embarking on as I embrace the simple truth that when asked to define myself, my resounding answer was {dad.is.me}.

Dad \Dad\, n. [Prob. of Celtic origin] Father; — a word sometimes used by children.

Source: Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)

Sometimes a word’s definition does it’s owner’s description merit. Yet other times, such as with the word “Dad”, a mere definition doesn’t do justice the proper context with which that word is most often used.

Technically, the Webster’s definition above is correct in it’s origin and use, but does it truly capture the meaning or essence of the word? I challenge any of you reading this to say the word “Dad” aloud and not be swept with some emotion fueled by a collection of memories dating further back than your mind’s eye can take you.

For me the concept of  ”Dad” was embodied by my own father.

In as many ways as a Dad can be, as a child my own father was my hero. Time spent with him was all that a little boy could ask for. As an adult, the notion of hero naturally transitioned into that of role model. With respect to his professional career, personal development, health and fitness and overall positive view on the adventure that life can be, I couldn’t think of a better person to hold in such high regard.

From the moment I discovered that I would become a father myself, I immediately knew the standard that I wanted to live up to; that of my own Dad.

At the same time, I knew that the landscape which I brought my children into the world would be different than that in which I was raised. To no fault of our fathers, fathers today should be expected to share in the parenting role as partner to their significant others in ways that the previous generation wasn’t asked to. Enabled by the cultural shift in the prevalence of women returning to work full time after having a family, the acceptance by employers to coordinate flexible part time work arrangements and the breaking down of traditional male/female cultural norms, the family dynamic of the father working while the mother stayed at home to raise the children is no longer the example of prototypical family.

I’ve been blessed to have a partner in my wife Jen who is as intelligent and driven as she is beautiful. Jen has spent the last four years since the birth of our first daughter, Ryan Madison Daloisio, on May 26th, 2006 working a part time schedule while still both excelling at her career and being an incredible mother.

Over those same four years, I’ve been blessed in my career at CNET.com, now a part of CBS Interactive, as well. Not only have I been able to work in an industry that I am challenged by, I’ve been able to do it with a group of coworkers that are a second family to me. To add a cherry on top, I’ve been able to do it all primarily working from a home office in New Hampshire allowing me to spend as much time with my family as humanly possible.

While Ryan was in her infant and toddler years, we were fortunate enough to have incredible friends and neighbors who could watch Ryan during the three days a week that Jen worked. With Ryan just around the corner, I was able to participate in so much of those early formative years while still maintaining a full time career.

Jen and I both knew however, that the arrival of our second daughter, Julia Spencer Daloisio, on New Years Eve 2010 (12/31/09), would mark a significant change in the natural balance that we had struck gold in finding. It wouldn’t be possible to expect our greater circle of friends and family to support our growing family in the same ways they were able to with just one child to consider. Even with Ryan in preschool five days a week during the mornings during the school year, Julia’s arrival would require the need for full time care that neither my wife nor I could currently give with our current job requirements as they were.

This left us at a crossroads.  Our options to consider included formal day care for the girls, hiring an in home nanny, or one of either Jen or I committing to stay home full time.

Jen and I both felt very called as parents that it was important for one of us to be the primary caregiver to our children for as long as possible in their lives. After much financial analysis and soul searching, Jen and I came to the decision that the best solution for our family was for me to leave work and commit to being a full time Dad with Jen increasing her workload to support the family financially.

In many ways it has been a bittersweet decision for me to leave a company and more importantly a group of people that I have so much vested interest in. But when put in the context of the family I am choosing over the family I am letting go, there was only one decision that I could feel comfortable with.

Many people might consider giving up your career and dedicating your time to raising your children a selfless act, and in some ways I can appreciate that sentiment. Jen and I are making a decision most centered around our children and their needs instead of our own. At the same time, on some level, I can’t think of a more selfish thing that I have ever done. As much as I make this decision for my family, being a Dad is who I am and it is the singular thing that I do that not only most defines me, but inspires me as well. So in that respect, it is time to be selfless in the most selfish way possible and embrace being a full time Dad.

Welcome to our journey.